I usually don't mind being alone as I've always been a more solitary person since early childhood. I actually need and enjoy time to myself, and almost never have a problem entertaining myself. But this year has been different; I have not experienced deep aching loneliness like this ever. And I have to add I have not dealt with it as graciously as I would have liked. There has been a lot of self-pity involved and a little dancing with the demons, to put it politely.
This morning, as I opened my bible to Psalms, I started reading at Psalms 23...which is a very good place for the lonely to start. But I read through Psalms 25 and verses 16-21 reached into my heart, soothing some of that ache. I immediately used this Psalm as a prayer...adding "Father, please.." to the beginning of each verse. Please read:
Psalms 25: 16-21 ~
16 - (Father, please) Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 - (Father, please) Relieve the troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish.
and free me from my anguish.
18 - (Father, please) Look on my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
and take away all my sins.
19 - (Father, please) See how numerous are my enemies
and how fiercely they hate me!
and how fiercely they hate me!
20 - (Father, please) Guard my life and rescue me;
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
21 - (Father, please) May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope, Lord, is in you.
because my hope, Lord, is in you.
For those that suffer during this time of year, this is a humble, honest, beautiful plea to our Father for the love and grace only He can provide. Many that are lonely this time of year turn to various addictions...alcohol, drugs, spending, eating and so many more. Addictions are truly afflictions and troubles of the heart, that cause spiritual anguish and exacerbate emotional and physical anguish. When we get caught up in cycles of addiction and sin, shame is close behind and we further isolate ourselves, intentionally or unintentionally from the solution....the company of family, friends, fellowship and most of all God, all those that love us in their unique ways.
We start to categorize the very solution as the problem, as our enemy. We play mind games with ourselves, making all sorts of excuses based on the sore spots in our lives...relationships, finances, family history, etc., etc. We become resentful of our loved ones, of our jobs, pitying ourselves and pulling at any loose thread we can find to justify unraveling our well being, self-medicating instead of surrendering it all to our Father.
If this sounds like someone you know, I would urge you to reach out to the folks in your life that may be hurting, in any way that you can. Even a simple phone call, text message or email saying "I'm thinking about you" can mean so much to someone that is in the depths of depression. Invite them to celebrate with you, and if that isn't possible, then invite them to a cup of coffee or drop off a meal. Sometimes, they are so deep in despair that they cannot pull themselves out, and a simple kind gesture, even if they don't accept or acknowledge it, is the leg-up out of the pit they need. And pray for them...there's nothing more powerful that we can do for one another.
If this message is ringing true to you as one who is grappling with loneliness, depression, anguish, addiction or heartache right now, use Psalm 25: 16-21 as your Christmas prayer. Ask God to grace you with His love, providing for you the integrity and protection you need in your life to get through the holiday season. He understands that we turn to our vices when we hurt, He understands pain like no one else can, but He is also ready and willing to deliver us from our sin, from our shame, from our pain and anguish. Let Him shine His brilliant light into our darkest corners, chasing away the demons that have taken up residence there. All we have to do is ask, to lay our broken hearts in His lap, allowing Him do His best work. Almost more importantly, listen for His answers...they may come as opportunities to serve others, to express gratitude, to heal and to love. In other words, He will find things to keep us busy, in order to keep us out of trouble.
Wishing you much peace and joy this Christmas!
