A certain set of circumstances occurred, and I expected him to react a certain way that would cause him to be hurtful to me. He actually didn't react in the old way, maintained control of his feelings, and acted in a very positive, constructive, not hurtful way. But guess how I reacted? I reacted as if he had behaved as he had in the past! And worse, I treated him as if he had behaved as he would have previously. It was my old emotional imprint of feeling unimportant and rejected and shameful as I had felt in our previous relationship.
Thankfully, through some serious prayer and physical meditation (3.5 mile hike in steep terrain!) I saw things plainly and relatively quickly. We were presented with reoccurring circumstances, he acted very deliberately in a way that should have helped me feel respected and valued. Instead I reacted with anger and mistrust, and pulled away a bit from the relationship. I tried to pressure him into taking an action that would make me feel better, but would not have been the wisest course of action. Thank goodness God showed me my error.
