The Art of Being Alone...not Lonely.

Every so often I catch myself craving time to myself.  I work a pretty intense job, I have kids, an active social life, a newly blossoming romance....but I need my "me time".  Being a recovering co-dependant, this is new to me.  Even if I was alone, I was constantly on the phone, or texting, emailing, on Facebook or dating sites.  I was too lonely to learn how to be alone.

But as my relationship with God grows my need for constant interaction with others diminishes.  And I've noticed all of my relationships have improved.  My previously unhealthy relationship habits are falling away and I'm truly becoming a good friend that doesn't need to dominate or control or give constant advice.  I listen.  I empathize, sometimes even with patience :).  I wait until asked before offering my thoughts.  My sense of value comes from my relationship with God now, so I no longer need my relationships to validate who I am.  My relationships have moved to being more balanced..and when the scales start to tip one way or the other a little too far I'm recognizing it.  And instead of reacting to the imbalance, I'm being thoughtful in my actions to correct the balance.  I may not always go about it in the best way, but I'm learning.

Because God loves me and accepts me for who I am...I no longer fear rejection from others.  I no longer worry so much about what others think or how I'm making them feel.  I no longer worry about being lonely and am content in being alone.  I'm not just ok taking a romance slowly, but see the beauty in letting it develop at it's own pace, and I am completely understanding why romance should unfold slowly.  I've decided to live a life of love, loving God, myself and all others.  If I mistakenly hurt someone, I make ammends as soon as I can do so sincerely and authentically.

Spending time alone allows me space to heal from old wounds and fresh ones, it creates enough perspective that I can respond with love and compassion.  Spending time alone in prayer and meditation expands my faith and feeds my hopes and dreams...some of which are sharing my life with an amazing man, that will continue to allow me my "aloneness".

I challenge readers to start deliberately spending time alone with God.  Invest in that relationship, and all of your other relationships will improve dramatically.  I promise. :).