Not Broken...Just Needing a Break

So Siri can't help you blow your brains out.  Just one more obstacle to my day today.  I asked, but she couldn't even find me a suicide prevention hotline.  My iPhone is fired!  And my laptop can tag right along.  For all of my serene, peacful talk thus far on this blog you might surmise that I gently, carefully, quietly help bees pollenate flowers in a field of wild clover in an ever perpetual summer.  I'm actually purposefully self-employed at a fairly stressful, difficult, thankless profession that I do love on most days.  I negotiate with the Big Banksters 5-6 days a week on behalf of the little guy, who is even embarrassed they need me.  Today the banksters pulled out all the stops and gave me a run for my money.  I'll take the win in small victories, today, thank you very much.  They certainly ran me down, though.

Truly, this has to be God's front porch, right?

The work I do is mentally exhausting.  Sometimes I have to leave the office to "take a lap" around the building.  We keep a picture book of a very cute dog to take the tension down a peg or two.  Or I visit www.cuteoverload.com somewhere in my 47th minute of being on hold after my 8th call transfer to yet another person that cannot help me figure out where the bank lost our file.  Which is actually a huge improvement over the wood chopping I used to do in my garage when I first started this work.

I sometimes wonder why I stay in it.  Why, day after day, I choose to suit up and hit the ground running for people that would rather not need my services, going up against organizations that don't really want to cooperate and go out of their way to make my job difficult, tedious and mind-blowing in the wrong sense of the term.  I know why I do it, though.  I love doing the right thing, I love fighting for the underdog, I love winning for all of the right reasons and in the right ways.  And I love knowing that I've helped someone with what I do, each and every day.  And I love sleeping at night, knowing I've done good. 

The opportunity was presented to me at a time when I needed a bridge financially, but also out of my harmful marriage.  This work I do allowed me to work from home, afforded a similar income and allowed me the time and space mentally and emotionally to cope not only with my life transition but to help my kids transition with theirs, which was not their choice and a more difficult move in many respects. 

So my stressful, thankless, complex and difficult work has been a true blessing and rolling up my sleeves and going to work everyday, sometimes 6 a.m. to 8 p.m., is a committed gesture of gratitude on my part to the owner of my company and to my heavenly Father.  His timing is always perfect, He's always got the perfect players in the game right when they're needed.  I'm happy to be that person in my clients' lives, even if it's exhausting sometimes.

Ok, back at it, getting ready for a 6:00 pm client consultation. :)