Funny how when you just set your mindset to something it starts to materialize. I'm 19 days into a 21 day e-course on patience. The concept and practices have been broken down into bite size pieces that are easier to swallow, digest and practice. And I feel like it's been working. I'm knee-jerk reacting less and more carefully and thoughtfully responding more. I'm always my own toughest critic, and I'm being more patient with myself and others.
A side effect that I didn't expect is how actively practicing more patience is making me slow the heck down on lots of things, really think about them and come to more meaningful conclusions and decisions. Now when confronted with issues, situations, less than ideal circumstances, etc., I am thinking about what's important to me, what's going to be the best outcome for me and does this outcome meet my blossoming higher standards of self-respect, self-worth, trust and what's acceptable in my life despite the positive or negative emotions involved. And I'm finding that, for the first time in my life, I'm choosing the sometimes more difficult path to adhere to those standards.
Why? Because my life depends on it. My physical, emotional and spiritual well-being depend on my being true to the perfect creation God created me to be. He doesn't make mistakes, people do. My injuries and wounds have for two long held me hostage to other people's injuries and wounds. I know that that isn't God's will for me. I have to believe that He wants me to be content, to feel loved, respected, trusted. And I believe that He has given me permission to no longer tolerate repeated behavior from myself and others that leaves me feeling anything less than.
Saying goodbye to people you love that don't treat you well is hard, difficult and painful. But through my faith I have reassurance that I'm on the right path, that being alone is better than allowing myself to be treated poorly. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
